Today at work I saw a gentleman (and I use the term loosely) that I always dread seeing on the schedule. You just never know what is going to come out of the man's mouth or what schizophrenic thing he will do in your chair. He's the patient that I referred to previously as being an Al Gore look-alike, in a crazy, hairy way. Trust me, it fits.
The first time I met him we had an argument of a political nature. As a general rule, I don't talk politics at work. I think it is unprofessional. But he sooo got on my nerves! Luckily, he doesn't remember a word of it. This will make more sense as I continue....
He is a starving musician, and would be literally if his lovely wife didn't support the family. He just can't seem to find it in him to find a vocation of a different sort, since all he wants is to be a lounge singer. Yes, a lounge singer. He currently has a weekly gig at a retirement home.
So now when I see him I steer clear of politics and talk music, since that is a topic we can both be enthusiastic about. Too bad he is insane!
The last time he was in the office was for a toothache. We have a lovely assistant, Tasha, who just happens to be the one and only young and single gal of our crew. She is cute. She has the sweetest personality and everyone loves her. Unfortunately, that can lead to undesirable consequences. As she led Mr. "Gore" back to her chair, he kept repeating he was just so hot, sooo hot! Then he asked her if she minded if he changed his shirt because he was sweaty. He then proceeded to take his shirt off right in front of her (those poor little virgin eyes will never be the same!), wiping himself off. He put another shirt on and she matter-of-factly tried to proceed with the exam. We were all standing in the hall by this time, trying not to laugh as she mimed a gagging motion.
So we all knew he was crazy. I just found out today why. At the beginning of the appointment I asked him about what medications he was taking. After rattling off Prozac, etc., he conspiratorially leaned forward and said he is also taking a "prescription" of cannabis.
(Just in case, that's ummm, marijuana....)
Ahem.....that explains a lot actually. I just wonder what street doctor "prescribed" that one!
4 comments:
You've gotta love those crazy patients. I have had my fair share of crazy patients. It keeps the job fun!!!
Sorry you have to deal with some crazy people. Does he even have any teeth left? Usually those kind of people have poor hygiene.
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
Pure awesome. The weirdest 'client' experience I ever had was in Boise - summer of '95 as I was saving up for my mission that Fall. I was working @ a Circle K up on S. Cole by my house. In came a guy and he bought: Porn, Alcohol, Cigarettes, Chewing Tobacco, Lottery Tickets and Coffee. That's everything, and that's all.
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