Today I am thirty-four.
I have for the last several years been able to answer my age to be "thirty," in relatively good conscience. Now, not so much. There's something about a "four" that tips the scale more than a "three," enough so to put me dangerously into the realm of "middle-aged-dom."
When did all this occur? Why do I not feel any different than I did at twenty-four?
I distinctly remember thinking how old thirty sounded when I was still a teenager. But then I crept slowly toward that innocuous-sounding age, and tried to silently squeeze past it, hoping to not get "caught." True, I am always told how young I look. At work I am constantly bombarded with open-mouth stares when I reveal the fact that I have a thirteen-year-old daughter. I must always reassure them, saying, "Trust me, I'm older than I look...."
What can I say? I have excellent genes....
But now thirty-four is sounding so, well, old.
It wasn't old when Eric embraced that age (3 1/2 years ago, tee hee).
It just sounds old for me. It sounds like the age that one would assume you know what you are doing. Like you're a bonified adult. Like you've got your life together, or at least have some kind of plan that is unfolding beautifully before you.
I guess the true thirty-four is quite different than the imagined one from sixteen years ago.
So for now I will hold this crazy, shift-changing, identity-formulating number close to me and wear it like a badge. I will not be ashamed.
And I still feel like I'm twenty-four no matter what anyone else says! :)
3 comments:
I hope you had a fabulous birthday! 34 doesn't sound old to me, some people are just starting to have babies at 34. :) You're awesome Heather, I'm glad I know you.
I am going to be thirty four in a few months so I totally know what you are talking about. It is funny because when I was a teenager I thought that people in their thirties were ancient! Now I am realizing how young you really are in your thirties.
I hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!
I would rather be 34 then 41 any day. i feel like you do and wish I can turn back time. But I just have to move forward and life just gets better. We are not getting older just wiser.
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