How to Annoy Your Dental Hygienist

I find it entertaining, in an exasperating sort of way, how patients can have such similar illogical reactions to things in a dental chair. I will give three examples of patients that anyone who works in the dental field sees on a regular basis.... at least once a day.


Patient A is great at stating the obvious. "This front tooth here, (pointing to the hideously discolored monstrosity in front of their face, complete with the grey metal margin gleefully exposed for all the world to see) is a fake, so be careful with it. I try not to touch it so it doesn't fall out." They then proceed to wince and gasp at any sort of movement my instruments do in its near proximity. Patient A is also very good at pointing out a hairline flaw or stain that bothers them, when it is surrounded by five different colors of filling material on their patchwork-piece of a tooth.


Patient B finds it impossible to swallow their own saliva, when that is all they do every other day of their life. They don't seem to notice how much of the appointment time I waste putting everything down so they can spit into the little vacuum. And if I don't do it often enough, they frantically point to their mouth and make "ah ah aha aaah" sounds.


Patient C cannot lay back in the chair at less than a 45 degree angle to the floor. They are approaching 60 degrees and "Whoaaa!!! I'm going to slide out of the chair!" Trust me, I explain. I haven't lost a single patient yet. I then proceed to dump them on the floor....just kidding! I just wonder how they go to bed at night. Surely they aren't all sleeping in recliners! As I continue to press the down-and-back-button, I usually make some little joke about "That's how I get my tips"....You know, loose change falling from their pockets....Yes, it's lame. We all have to entertain ourselves somehow, though.