Nightly Ritual

Erica on abcmouse.com. She's better with the computer mouse than I am. Is this a good thing??

A few days ago, Eric pulled me into the living room in stealth mode, to take a look at Erica. She was sitting in the dark front room, her face glued to the computer monitor, her free hand at her face. I thought she looked cute.

I said, "What?" wondering why he thought that I had to see her like that.

He laughed.  "That is what I see every night...YOU! You look exactly the same! Even down to the hand at your face!"

It was pretty funny.  And he is right.  While Eric chooses to veg out every night in front of the TV, my mindless entertainment of choice is spent in front of the computer.  Sitting in the dark with the screen blinding my eyes, freezing cold because we still haven't fixed the heaters in our living room yet.

While I admit that a fair amount of time is spent WASTING time, cruising through Facebook, reading people's blogs, and window shopping at amazon.com, I hope that I am devoting more of this time to actual writing.

I am trying to write at least a little something every day, not counting emails or Facebook status updates.  It is turning out to be more difficult than I thought it would be.  Who knew that something you loved to do would end up being so difficult to follow through on?  Sometimes at the end of the day, I have nothing left in my creative reserve.  I am on empty.

I think that I am counting this as my writing for today....

October in Paradise

In October we were lucky enough to spend a week on the beautiful island of Kaua'i.  We were able to take Heidi and Ethan with us, and I am so glad that we did!  The memories that we made on this trip will last a lifetime.

Our first day on Kaua'i. We were scouting out beaches before we could check into our condo. After six hours on the plane, all I wanted to do was get in the water, but I didn't want to change into my suit in the car! Ethan didn't mind changing in the car, though! This is lovely Lydgate Beach.

Some coral at Lydgate Beach.

Lydgate Beach

Gorgeous waves at Tunnels Beach. There were a couple huge sea lions sunbathing on the beach!

Beautiful plantation.

Ono Shave Ice in Kapa'a. The rest of the trip, Ethan begged us to go back and get some more. I always thought it was funny how everywhere you went, it was called "Shave Ice," rather than "Shaved Ice."

On board the Blue Dolphin catamaran to see the Na Pali Coast and the forbidden island Ni'ihau.

I love cruising!

Some spinner dolphins joined us on our cruise!

Na Pali Coast

One of the hidden beaches on the Na Pali coast. Several movies have been filmed here, including Johnny Depp's Pirates of the Caribbean.

One of my favorite images from this trip!

The "Keyhole" on the forbidden island Ni'ihau. Our cruise took us out to snorkel by the island.

Ethan was a snorkeling pro by the time we left Kaua'i!

Beautiful Anini Beach! We swam with several sea turtles here.

This was day 5. I think we wore her out...

Kilauea Lighthouse. It was closed for most of our trip, due to the government shutdown.

I think that Kaua'i had to be the birthplace of the joke starting "Why did the chicken cross the road...?" They are literally EVERYWHERE! We saw more chickens than fish on this island. Ethan had a good time chasing them all week.

Some cool seeds from a tree at the Spouting Horn Beach Park. They looked like flowers.

Spouting Horn Beach Park. There was a fisherman down there with five huge fishing rods.

Our view from the Kalalau Lookout. We should be able to see the Na Pali coastline from here, but alas....We waited for over an hour for the cloud cover to disperse but it never did. It was a good 20 degrees cooler here than on the coast!

Another lookout from the top of the mountain. Pu'uokila Lookout, also under cloud cover.

Gorgeous view at Waimea Canyon Lookout. I got car sick from the drive up to here, but it was well worth it!

My gorgeous girl's photo shoot at Kalpaki Beach.

What a romantic week with my Honey!

Playing at Kalpaki Beach.

My island boy at Kalpaki Beach, across the street from our condo.

Wailua Falls, famous for the intro scene to the TV show "Fantasy Island."

At Smith Family Garden Lu'au.

Ethan was impressed with this stalk growing out of the coconut. I don't think he realizes how a seed works....

I think the smiles here say it all...this was one amazing trip!

Sunrise

Brian & Carol Anderson

It was an emotional day for everyone at church today.

A member of our Ward, longtime friend and home teacher of ours, passed away on Monday after a long struggle with leukemia.  After years of chemotherapy treatments, which his body seemed resistant to, his last resort was a bone marrow transplant this spring.  He suffered through the trauma and illness, and even seemed to be reacting well to the transplant, when suddenly things took a downhill turn.  He started to react to one of his anti-rejection drugs and never fully recovered.

I have been amazed to watch him and his wife Carol go through this entire ordeal.  They were always positive and upbeat, choosing to put their faith in God, and trusting in his guidance and protection.

During one of Brian's home teaching visits with our family, he laughed about a situation that had just come up with an onsight therapist.  Cancer patients are encouraged to attend some therapy sessions, to help them through feelings of grief, frustration, and fear associated with such a terrible disease.  He told us about how he had explained to her his resounding feeling of peace.  He was already at terms with the possibility of death, and nothing he knew about death scared him.  He was ready for whatever was in store, whether it be living twenty more years on earth, or returning to his Father in Heaven.  He laughed when he told us her reaction.  She said, "Brian, I don't think you need me. I probably should be listening to YOU."

Brian was the epitome of enduring to the end.

As I listened to many members of our Ward family bear testimony today of the peace and reassurance which we can receive from the Savior and his Atonement, I was reminded so clearly, with a flood of emotions when we lost Eric's dad.  It is so difficult to watch someone you love suffer for so long.  I remember pleading with my Father in Heaven to please release him from such a burden.  In my heart, I was hoping that release would come through a miraculous recovery, but our prayers were answered in a different way.

The challenge of aligning our will with God's, and trusting in His love, is probably one of life's most difficult.  I fight this challenge every day, as I watch my beautiful daughter struggle to make her way down the stairs, or trip because her balance is not quite right, or struggle with picking up small pieces of cereal because her dexterity is not that intricate.  I mourn for the life she could have had, for the experiences she will miss, the children she will never have.  But then I look into her eyes and hear her musical laugh and I know that she is happy.  She is happy with who she is and what God has given her.  He loves her and has blessed her in so many ways.

I have learned from watching my father-in-law, watching Brian, and watching Elise, that not only are miracles possible, but they do happen.  I have learned that you can face your challenges and adversity with faith and optimism.  I have also learned that you can accept the outcome of circumstances with peace and contentment.  Aligning our will with God gives us the reassurance of His matchless love for His children.  That He loves us and only wants our happiness.

On Tuesday morning, as I was driving to work, I was thinking about Brian's life and his example to me.  As I rounded the corner to get onto the freeway I got a good view of the sky.  It was one of the most glorious sunrises that I have ever seen, full of rich oranges and pinks.  Seeing it flooded me with warmth.  I felt sure that it was God's way of reminding each of us of His presence and His love.  

Brian was definitely smiling down on his family that morning.

Writers

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a writer.

It wasn't enough to just write.  I wanted to earn the title of WRITER.

In the sixth grade, my English teacher must have seen a hidden yearning within me, because she gave me an individual assignment, separate from the rest of the class.  I was to write a "book," and at the end of the assignment period I would read it to my class.

I was both exhilarated and terrified.

At that time, I was a very shy girl.  It was difficult for me to raise my hand to answer any questions in class, let alone read an entire piece aloud.  I was proud to be so singled out.  While I was given permission to sit quietly in a separate room to work on my creation every day, the rest of the class worked on English assignments.  However, it was a lot of pressure to be so singled out.  I felt that everyone would be looking to me, thinking that I was showing off, and torment me even more than they already did.

I wrote a story about a girl who travels through time, having adventures with a new friend named Zack.  I was terribly embarrassed to read the passages out loud which showed the awakening within a girl when she discovers boys for the first time, and I know that I blushed profusely when the two held hands.  But I also remember how it felt to share something that came from within me, something that didn't exist before I put pen to paper, something that was a part of me.

It was wonderful.

I went through countless spiral notebooks throughout the next several years, filling them with stories, poems, and even songs.  My sophomore year of high school, I attempted to write another "book."  This one was about a girl who is mistaken for another girl, living in a mysterious castle.  She must choose between two different men, the stalwart and brave one, or the mysterious and dark one.  Which one is deceiving her, and which is the true hero?  I would tease my friends with the story, a chapter at a time.  They would beg me to finish the next installment.

I was in heaven!  They all told me that I was going to be a writer someday.  I believed them.

Then, I embarked on the new and exciting adventure of college, and the practical need to provide for a family became a top priority,  My beloved literature classes were replaced with science and biology, anatomy and physiology.  Instead of reading for pleasure, my time was consumed with studying from ten pound text books.  Instead of experimenting with alliteration and prose, I was engrossed in research papers and statistical charts.

It took two years after I graduated from college before I actually picked up a novel to read for pleasure.  As I began to pour over the crinkly yellow pages, it was like something awakened within me again.  I began to devour books, trying to catch up on the years that I had devoted to studying for my degree.

I tried to form a book club.  I was living in Boise, Idaho at the time, and craved the social interaction associated with a club, and also the intellectual stimulation which comes from literary dissection.  A few people came a few times.  It was a disappointing venture.

We moved to Meridian, Idaho.  I tried to form another book club.  No one was interested.  When asked, everyone would respond, "I don't have time to read."  I would think to myself, "Neither do I, but now I have learned to MAKE time."

Finally, after moving to Everett, Washington, I made my most recent attempt at forming a book club.  I felt all alone in the area.  We had no family close by and I needed to feel connected to where we lived.

Once again, I was the shy new girl, but I asked everyone that I met if they would like to be in a book club, started by me.  Everyone wanted to join!

That was seven years ago.  Our book club has been going strong ever since.  It has been one of the most fulfilling things that I have ever been a part of.  And even though people come in and out, moving across the country or even just in the city ten minutes away,I have formed a connection with them that I never dreamed was possible.  Sometimes our discussions are deep, sometimes they are just frivolous fun, but they give me the fuel that I need to continue to motivate myself to accomplish all those things that I want to achieve.

It was this amazing success with a book club, and the subsequent pouring over hundreds of books, good and bad, which reminded me of my original dream, that of being a writer.

As a test, I started a blog.  It was scary at first.  I was completely out of practice.  My writing was halting and laborious.  I struggled over every sentence, every phrase, every idea.  But gradually the words began to flow again.  I began to discover my voice.

This voice is different.  This voice is no longer eleven years old, pining to experience life and everything it has to offer.  This voice has already experienced heartbreak, extreme joy, and everything in between.  This voice can share the richness of dreams already attained, and hopes of new experiences yet to come.  This voice has the understanding of ultimate sorrow mixed with the solace of gratitude and humor.

This voice is mine.

Relaxing at our Writer's Retreat in September 2013.

A year ago I was invited by a friend to join a writing group.  Six ladies with the giant dream of honing our skills as writers and creating something special.  I jumped on the chance!  Each one of us have completely different voices, yet all have the same dream.  We meet once a month, sharing things which we are working on and giving general encouragement and advice.  It is a safe place to share and learn.  I look forward to our meetings every month.

We recently started a blog, which includes serial stories, written by us in sequence.  We start with a prompt, and each of us begins a story.  We pass that beginning on to the next person, who adds a section to the story, then passes it on to the next.  It has been a fun project, and a wonderful exercise in brainstorming new and interesting ideas, matching voices, and creating memorable characters.

I invite each of you to check out our new blog.  Please follow us daily, as a new section of the week-long story is added every morning.  We are so excited to share our stories and hopefully instill in you a new desire to create something of value.

I find that my journey as a writer is still evolving.  As I continue to develop my voice, I am also discovering what is inside of me. I may have substituted a laptop for my spiral bound notebook, but the end result is the same.

What leaves my fingertips is my heart.