He Knows Me By Name

On August 6th was mine and Eric's 19th wedding anniversary.

It was a really special day for us. We happened to be in Boise visiting for a family reunion, so we thought it would be meaningful to attend a session in the same temple that we were married in 19 years previously.  My parents and brother Michael attended with us and it was an experience that I will never forget.

The Boise Temple was recently completely remodeled. Everything on the inside was gutted out and redesigned, and the outside was resurfaced with a beautiful white granite. This was our first time through the temple since all the changes were made. 

As I entered this beautiful building, both completely new yet forever the same, I was overcome with memories from my first experience in that sacred House of the Lord. Not only was I sealed to Eric on that special day 19 years previously, but I also made other sacred covenants with the Lord for the first time. To add to this remembrance of first experiences, we were also able to see for the first time a beautiful new production made for part of the temple ceremony. It was like I was reliving that new day again so many years ago, and I was once again full of awe and wonder at how blessed I am to live in this world at this time.

 

There were several other beautiful moments which occurred that morning, so sacred and special that I find them difficult to talk about. As I was sitting in the Celestial Room, the holiest of places in the temple, surrounded by my family and with Eric by my side, I contemplated what I had just experienced and why it meant so much to me.

I was suddenly overwhelmed by such a rush of warmth and love so powerful it left me breathless. In that moment I felt so incredibly and personally loved by my Father in Heaven. He knew my needs, my fears, my strengths, my weaknesses, and He LOVED ME! I knew that He knew me by name.

Why did this mean so much to me at this particular time?

There is nothing more personal or sacred that identifies you individually and apart from anyone else, than your name.

I have been struggling with a lot of personal issues for many months now. Despite my best efforts, I have been continually berating myself for my inability to overcome personal weaknesses, and it has been a struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with the idea of who I want to be, that it seems impossible for me to be able to overcome my personal weaknesses and be that woman in my mind. How could I truly be loved as a Daughter of God if I wasn't perfect?

In my mind, I already knew that I was loved, even despite my imperfections. But at that moment, I really needed to KNOW, and in His perfect love and mercy, my Father in Heaven knew what I needed.

He knows me by name.

Tonight I had another difficult moment, when fear and desperation gripped me as I watched Elise endure another terrifying seizure. I held her, trying to calm her and comfort her as she cried, while at the same time I was screaming in my head, "WHY? WHY? WHY must we go through this? How can I endure seeing my child suffer like this?"

Then once again I was comforted with the same reassurance that not only am I loved, and my trials and fears are understood, but that Elise is so very loved as well. All at once, I flashed back to that special day in the temple and what I experienced there. Almost from the moment that the remembrance flooded my heart, Elise seemed to feel it as well. Her body started to relax and her rattling breaths began to slow and steady. I was once again overcome with a feeling of peace and love, knowing that our needs were understood and met.

Elise looked up at me and gave a small, tired smile, then rolled onto her side and snuggled into her sleeping position, her eyes quickly drifting shut.

I am so grateful for a Father in Heaven who answers prayers, especially the ones that we don't even know we are sending up to Him. I am so grateful for His guidance and the constant assurances I receive to confirm that I am a beloved Daughter of God, despite my weaknesses and faults.

He knows me by name.