Prepared

At my church, the children of the congregation are part of an organization called the Primary.  They have many teachers and leaders, and are taught principles of the gospel through lessons, group activities, and music.

Last Sunday I was checking with our Ward's Primary Presidency about when we were scheduled to perform our annual Primary Program.  I am currently playing the piano as accompanist for the Primary, and was concerned if the date of the performance was while we are scheduled to be on vacation in Hawaii in October.

Luckily, the dates were not an issue.

Heidi Barker, from the presidency, teased me that I wasn't getting out of playing for the program that easily....Then she told me that I had to bring her back some chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.

I think I just got out of it, but it wasn't easy.

After church I had an appointment to meet with the leader of our regional area, our Stake President Porterfield.  He came to our house for the interview.

I was on pins and needles.  There are not very many times that a Stake President comes into your home to meet specifically with you.  There are actually only a handful of reasons that he would do so.  I was listing those reasons in my head and starting to panic, stewing over it the entire weekend.  Finally the suspense was resolved and President Porterfield got to the point of his visit.

He extended a new calling (or responsibility specific to the church) to me, and asked me to be the new Stake Primary President.

I was in shock.

There are eight separate Primaries in our Stake, each with its own presidency which oversees the week-to-week needs of their children.  The Stake Primary Presidency acts as a support for the Ward presidencies, training them and helping them with any difficulties they encounter.  They also assist with other functions of the Stake in relation to the children.  It is a big job, and will involve visiting the other Wards' Primaries frequently.

I struggled through this week, unable to discuss my new calling with anyone from my Stake, and given the responsibility to choose two counselors, to complete our presidency before our Stake Conference held this weekend.

I was bombarded with feelings of inadequacy. 

I remembered very clearly how I felt when President Porterfield told me, leaning in close with an intensity in his eyes, saying, "I believe very strongly that you are meant to be the Stake Primary President at this time."

In my head I asked, "WHY?!" 

Why me, when there are so many other women much more qualified than I am to fulfill this calling?

I relayed my feelings of fear and inadequacy to Eric, while he was still in Las Vegas for work. He texted me back, saying, "Don't let negative thoughts enter into your mind. The last year and a half have been preparation for you. You have a lot to offer."

On Friday I went to the temple, seeking the peace and comfort which comes in the house of the Lord.  As I was waiting for my session to begin, I read from the Book of Mormon. I opened to the book of Ether and read the account of the brother of Jared preparing to cross the sea with his eight barges.

In chapter 2:25 it reads: "And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come...."

Then in chapter 3:14 it continues: "Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters."

I was struck with the use of the word prepared. Once I got home I looked up the definition of prepare in the dictionary.  It read:

"To make ready beforehand for some purpose..."

Even though I often do not feel adequate, and wonder if I am capable of completing this assignment, I can learn to trust the Lord.  He has prepared me for this work, because I cannot "cross this great deep" without me putting my faith in him.  And just like Jesus Christ was prepared for his glorious role on the earth, to be our Savior and Redeemer, I was also prepared for the many roles that I would carry out while upon the earth.

As I sat in reverence in President Porterfield's office this afternoon, his hands placed upon my head to set me apart as the Stake Primary President, I felt a warmth of reassurance that not only was I capable, but that I was meant to have this experience.  I knew that it would be a stretch for me, but it would be an amazing opportunity to learn and grow in the gospel, and that I wouldn't have to face the storm alone.

I am so thankful for this opportunity which I have been given to serve the children of our Stake, and feel the Savior's all-encompassing love for them.  What a blessing it will be to stand as a witness to them that he lives, and help them "believe on [his] name; and they shall become [his] sons and [his] daughters."